Why do some women refuse to engage in any sort of self care?
More to the point, why do a significant subset of those women aggressively shove that refusal in your face, as though taking care of yourself is the eighth deadly sin? They state in a flat, condescending tone, “I don’t have time to [exercise] [knit] [have coffee and laugh my ass off with friends] [binge watch Dr. Who].”
This really pisses me off. Also, I call bullshit. You don’t lack time for these things. You choose not to spend the time you have on them, because you are allocating your resources in other ways. I watch Dr. Who; you stay up doing work email. I knit; you helicopter over your kid, micromanaging their homework. I have a latte with my pal; you alphabetize your underwear drawer. I exercise; you… I don’t know what you do, because I exercise at the crack of dawn. Make pancakes? Drill your kid in astrophysics concepts? I don’t know.
You know that saying, wherever you go, there you are? Yeah. Well, refusing to take care of number one means that wherever you go, you are going to be dogged, 24/7, by a cranky, humorless, out-of-shape Tiger Mom with no interests other than trying to be perfect. Have fun with that.
Martyrdom is NOT the new leopard print, people.
I’m sorry for ranting, but I’m so very tired of this affected load of crap. How about if everyone just calms down and does one thing every day just for themselves? Whatever flips your lid. Take a bath, paint your nails, read for an hour, drink a glass of wine, write in a journal, do needlepoint. Dishes not done? So what. They’ll keep. You will feel so much better if you take time for yourself first, before giving it all away to everyone else. Really.
I feel better now. Go do some yoga. You will, too.