Fresh Start.

What Would I Do Without Flowers?

It’s been a while.   When I originally started blogging years ago, my chief motivation was my desire to write.   After two or three posts, I learned that whatever my motivation, I had entered a community that demanded daily participation.   It was incredibly rewarding in a way I had never anticipated when I set out.  I knew little about knitting at the time, and I understood nothing of the truly kind and generous support that virtual strangers were so willing to extend to me.  It was wonderful and absorbing for a long time.

After a while, though, blogging became a strange sort of obligation that sometimes made me feel uncomfortable.  I hesitated to post when I was short on time because I knew I wouldn’t have time to reply to comments.  This sucked in many ways, because I was writing for me, to feed my own soul, and I pushed that to the side because I felt guilty and selfish about my inability to give other people what they needed.  Also, it got a little weird for me when people I knew in person followed my blog.  That’s mostly about my own self-consciousness and insecurity.  Obviously close friends I know and trust wouldn’t take advantage of my vulnerability in publishing my thoughts or creations.  But then a couple of people I don’t know well took a bit too much interest.  At that point it wasn’t fun anymore.  I stopped.

I was fine with my silence for a long while.  I would scribble in a notebook when I needed to make words into thoughts.  But I missed that feeling of having created something when I hit “publish” on a post I had noodled on, edited, mulled over.  I considered what to do.  I locked down the old blog address and did some writing there, strictly for myself.  That was good, not great.  Not quite the same.  I wasn’t really accountable for thinking ideas through when I was just writing for myself.  I thought about it some more.

I finally decided to start fresh, with new rules.  I changed my blog address and name, but I moved all the old content so I wouldn’t lose it.  I opened the site, but I did not opt to have traffic to the old blog redirected here.  I will let folks who may be interested know I’m here.  I have decided to disable comments for the time being, not because I don’t love hearing from you, but because I don’t want you to feel like you have to say something, which will then result in me saying something back, and then there we are again, both spending too much time feeling stress over full “in” boxes.  

So, please feel free to read or not.  Shoot me an email if you feel like remarking, but really, it’s not necessary.  I shall use this space to ponder and report and share stuff that pleases or provokes me.  Just be well, and do what fulfills you, while I try to do the same.

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