Sunday, FAQ Edition.

1.  Why do the female Olympic beach volleyball players have to wear those teeny-weeny undies?

2.  Why can I never, ever remember what row of a pattern repeat I’m on unless I write it down?  Even if I swear I have burned it into my brain before getting up from the chair?

3.  Why does my ball of laceweight yarn never seem to get any smaller, even though I’m knitting like crazy?

4.  Why did I insist on interrupting regularly-scheduled knitting yesterday to wind yarn and swatch for something new, thereby ensuring an occurrence of #2, above?

5.  Why does at least one person out of four in this house always have to seem disappointed with whatever it is I’m serving for dinner?  (Not always the same person, mind you – it rotates.)

6.  Why was the only suitcase deemed suitable for camp the one that lives inside a larger suitcase, which in turn lives in a very inconvenient corner of the closet?  (Corollary:  Why am I considering seeing a chiropractor?)

7.  Why does someone always have to take a shower 10 minutes after I have cleaned the bathroom?

8.  If eight is such a lucky number, why can’t I think of any lucky occurrences in my life linked to the number eight?

9.  Why can’t I put down these vampire books?

10.  Why do I ask so many questions, and rarely get answers?

Sadly, these questions are mostly rhetorical. 

What’s on your mind today?

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14 Comments

Filed under Lifebits

14 responses to “Sunday, FAQ Edition.

  1. You ask, I answer.

    1. Because Olympic rules decree that they cannot go commando.
    2. Because the row-remembering part of your brain retired 2 years ago and is now basking on the beach in Florida.
    3. The ball of yarn does get smaller, but whenever you get up from your chair (see #2, above) the lace faeries wave their little wands over the ball to restore it to its former size. It’s a free service they provide to ensure that you never run out of yarn. The fact that you are never able to finish is purely incidental.
    4. Knitting ADD is a risk we all run. It comes with the sport, just like rusty elbows with tennis and sprung knees with football.
    5. No idea. But the cure is to let each one of those people plan the menu one night a week. That way, on four nights/week the odds are improved.
    6. Suitcases are to be stored open in the middle of the living room floor. Didn’t your mother teach you anything?
    7. Performance takes timing, and timing dictates that the very best, most satisfying, most germicidal showers occur in clean bathrooms.
    8. Eight is not really a lucky number. If it were, my birthday would have been last Friday instead of today. (See how I sneaked that in? I’m a master at the all-about-me, I tell ya.)
    9. It is a little-known fact that vampire books, like vampires, have fangs that transmit their essence to their victims. In the case of the books, the fangs are so minuscule as to not be felt when they pierce their victim’s fingers. Happily for book sales and library circulation, the victims are able to pass on the infection without actually biting others; they have merely to talk or write about how engrossing the books are, and voila! a new victim.
    10. Are you not paying attention? I just answered your questions. Now, go forth and knit! And have a great day!

  2. To fill-in KmKat’s blanks…

    You cannot please all of the people all of the time. Children love to remind you of this, and what better time than at dinner(?).

    Oh, and complain about the lace weight when you’re binding off and run out of yarn. Cause, honey, then we can talk.

    xo

  3. HAHAHAH! KMKT has me rolling.
    #1… I don’t understand that either… shouldn’t the men be wearing the same small bit of cloth? and please, that sand?!?!? craziness.

  4. Very funny.

    I suggest post it notes, take out and turning off the hot water.

    The Mr. says #1 is that way because the photo op with Pres. B. was priceless.

  5. 1) Because women can be trusted to wax and no one wants to see men’s hairy butts
    2) Because you’re always thinking of multiple things, and when you stop knitting something else takes its brain space.
    3) Because it is magic yarn. Don’t question, just knit.
    4) Because you are a knitter and it’s ingrained.
    5) Because they’re working together to drive you nuts.
    6) Why didn’t you get someone else to dig it out for you?
    7) Because they were waiting for someone to clean the shower because it was yucky.
    8) Because you’re not Chinese.
    9) I have no idea, but maybe it’s what Kat said.
    10) How many answers do you want?

  6. Kate/Massachusetts

    Regarding #2 – Do you have any highlighter tape? If not, try to google it for an online source. I use it all the time with my patterns. It sticks to the row I am working on both highlighting the row AND reminding me which row I am on. Circumvents the senior moments!

  7. Very funny! Ok. I can’t compete with your other commenters. I think I wore my brain out yesterday. 😀 xoxo

  8. Interesting/Funny list and answers. I borrowed a bit of highlighting tape at the shawl class way back when and it *is* wonderful. I forgot about it but now I remember (thanks) so I’ll google it.

    Camp?

    There are several series of vampire books and they all have that effect on me, so far. I have not yet read the Twilight series

  9. i think you got lots of good answers!

    I’ve just reached the end, for the first time ever, of a ball of lace weight (I don’t do much lace weight knitting). I think it’s like getting to the end of a roll of dental floss – mythical!

  10. I know all the answers. But I’m keeping them to myself.

  11. Yesterday, we were talking about #1, and never came up with such entertaining answers.

    Lace yarn is magic and spun with illusions.

  12. I nodded my way through your questions!!! YESSS! YES! I love this post. A peek at the workings of Nora’s mind! Love it! xoxo

  13. Beverly

    OMG! When you find out the answer to #5, please, I beg you, let me know!
    TC

  14. Nearly done with vampire book #3. Then I shall have to arm-wrestle book 4 from DD when she gets home from camp tomorrow, whether she has finished it yet or not. What? Yes, I did call it a teen bodice-ripper. What’s your point?

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